I'm still reeling here. It's about midday. I've just put you down to sleep following an hour and a half in the park where you got caked in mud as we threw sticks into the lake and you ran around like a loony. Your shoes are filthy, you found a turbo fountain and soaked yourself and jumped into the puddle. You played with flowers and were just generally a pleasure. We played chase and I squashed you - it seems you really love that. Ayelet from the Baker Centre said you did, and it is clear that it is an area we need to focus on. Weighted blankets for a start. You climbed and were really really happy. But the bit I am really stunned by, apart from the fact that I saw a parrot in the park (it's Israel, not Brazil), and you started to say things like "want to slide Ben" and "Daddy stick and Ben stick" when we share them, is that you went up to two girls on roller skates and said "ready, steady, go" and pushed one, then he did it to the other. Playing with other kids. Shit. I seriously started to cry.

You got up at 7am or so, and we did the usual morning routine.

Anyway, Baker Centre...they seem to really know everything. She was telling me Ben sleeps like he does (on his side, under the covers, comes out and rotates etc) because of his sensory disorder. We need a weighted blanket according to her. She asked a series of questions like does he like bear hugs (I said yes, we've got a new game where he presses my nose and says "crush" or "squash" and I squeeze him tight). She tied all that up. We just went through his development and his milestones ("wow...he was an early developer" were her words, to which I added "yep, and then he sort of stopped") then we began to look at his sensory profile. "Was he happy the first time he walked on sand?" - I was shocked she asked that - he was sobbing, hysterical. It was like she was expecting me to say it. I don't know her thoughts yet, because she hasn't completed it and made her conclusions but she really looked like she was completely versed in everything she was looking at.

Finally the blocks of your therapy are falling into place. 3 sessions of OT and 4 sessions of CT, Hydrotherapy and Music Therapy every week. With the diet now a month in, and the supplements going in I think we have the basis of the support you need. We met with Didi and she will come and do two lots of 3 hours with you - hopefully a couple of 45 minute Floortime sessions and a trip to the park. It'll give me a chance to recover, breathe, tidy, sleep, read, work whatever. I think you will go to nursery with an assistant too after Passover.

Glutathione - it is better compounded by a pharmacy onsite than bought from a supplement supplier like Kirkman's. There is a general concensus here. My nutritionist said the same. I just woke Ben up rubbing it on his back now - first application. Don't ask how much it costs. Apparently you get what you pay for.

Little Steps: Fabulous in the park, went up to two bigger girls on roller skates and tried to play with them (ready, steady, go! And you pushed them). Possibly the first time you initiated play. Lots of language and words for the first time.
Poop: None.
Sleep: Woke 7.15am. Nap 12.05pm to 2pm (woken up by me as I put cream on you). Sleep at 9.45pm

Today's Food
Breakfast: Banana, Cornflakes and Rice Milk with Isogest (10.50am), Prigat Mango Juice with 1/4 tsp Calcium, 550mg Buffered Vitamin C and 1/2 capsule Nu Thera (9am)
Snack: Good For Me! Chocolate Cake with cashews (11am),
Lunch: Almond & Potato Patty (refused) and Small Portion of Rice (initially refused but was spoon fed half) with Isogest (2.30-4.30pm)
Snack: 2 Good For Me! Chocolate Truffles with dessicated coconut coating, Prigat Mango Juice with 250mg Buffered Vitamin C and 1/2 capsule Nu Thera (5pm), Banana, Half a bowl of Almond Milk Banana Ice Cream (other half with half capsule of Isogest refused)
Dinner: Piece of Good For Me! Chocolate Cake with cashews (7pm), 1 slice of GF bread with Strawberry Jam with half capsule of Isogest (a bit plus one other left) Spring Mango Nectar with 20mg capsule of Zinc (9pm)

Enzymes in and Zinc obviously works

You woke at 7.15am today, quite nice, I like this lie in mullarkey. I of course woke at stupid o'clock, but the relaxation before the morning kicks of is something I could get used to. You squealed on your bed. I leave you because I want to see if you call for me, and if not if you just trot into the room - I love that. But you squealed before I got you (Mummy slept through it) and then I got you. We lay in bed and there was something not right. You were kicking, and squealing. Just not right. Not awful, but like you were upset by something.

After breakfast, which you ate all in one sitting you came over and looked like you wanted to bite. You put the towel in your mouth and chewed on it, you opened you mouth but though you looked like you were lining up a bite I got out of the way.

I introduced the enzymes today - Kirkman's Enzym Complete DPP IV II with Isogest - I sprinkled half a capsule on your cornflakes. It just went straight down. I need to increase it to one capsule soon, but we'll ease it in. No problems though. I have no idea what they are supposed to do, I presume they assist with breaking down food. I think.

I found a very interesting article, finally, listing all the rates for salicylates, so now I now what it is in, I can make a judgment on whether something like Water Melon, which is relatively low but you will eat a kilo and therefore ingest lots is better or worse than dates, which is very high but you might only have one or two. Hmmm. Either way, it is good to have a reasonably precise list to make an informed decision on.

After the near biting incident, you got overexcited when you were on the armchair with Mummy. You grabbed hold of her lips, and really clamped them. You wouldn't let go, and when she managed to get you to let go you bit her hand. Not maliciously, just out of overexcitement. Mummy freaked out, and just couldn't cope with what you did and went into the room to cry, more from shock than pain, but it hurt too. I told her she had to address it on the spot, but she couldn't so I told you how cross I was and how bad biting is. So, after the huge argument with Mummy last night about Safta overloading your stomach and me not being able to get a drink inside you with zinc in, and me not being able to get across the importance of me controlling what goes in you so I know what has happened and what room for manoeuvre I have, you end up biting Mummy. I don't think she needs me to state the obvious for her, though after last night I was sorely tempted. She was the one who told me zinc is what straightens out the putting things in your mouth problem. It addresses putting non-food items in your mouth, biting, dummies etc. She's read a few articles on it on the Israeli forums, and here are one or two in English. So, one day you finally get some zinc in your system, then you don't and you bite me. Then you do and you're fine, then you don't get any last night and you are chomping on your Mummy. Hmmm. Looks to me like the zinc. We won't forget that one in a hurry, that's for sure.

We went to the stalactite caves in Bet Shemesh today with Nanny. You went there just before you got what I think was the meningitis that changed your life. It was lovely to take my big three year old boy back, all tall and handsome. And you had a new haircut. Nanny sat in the back as you slept and trimmed as much as she could off. I was terrified, but when you woke up, you were pretty calm as Nanny chopped the last bits off. You sat on my knee and let me open a pack of gummy bears. And you chomped away as Nanny chopped away, and off you went. And we had a fab time in the caves, you behaved really well. You seemed quite amused by it all. I was very proud. And you climbed the 154 steps up and down all on your own (bar a couple). I might just climb the stairs with you to the flat every day.

I need to pick up the glutathione cream from Morris in Netzach Israel tomorrow. It is bloody expensive, too expensive. I've never baulked at any price for you, but a cream that costs £65 a month - 405NIS per month is insane. However, it seems to actually work - improved language and focus according to this thread. Roni wrote something on it too, she says that the pharmacy made one is better than the Kirkman's one, though I did order some extra Kirkman's lotion today - I emailed Dr Berger's office with a request for some and some Phenol Assist and Phenol Assist Companion from Kirkman's too.

I found a very interesting article which talks about how much you should have of each supplement and how they all work - how they need to be taken and what a deficiency results in. I need to check the numbers you are taking, and see if we need to increase things when I talk to Roni in a few weeks.

When we were in the car coming back from the caves, I promised you a Good For Me! Chocolate Truffle, officially now called a Chocolate Surprise. After half an hour of being home you reminded me I made a promise, and then you proceeded to behave in quite the most amazingly happy and connected way I've ever seen I think. Just - well, better than regular. Perfect really, just amazing. You came back after the Chocolate Surprise had surprisingly finished, and asked me for another. The way you were made it impossible for me to say no, and then after you stopped dancing with joy (literally), you asked me for another. I explained that it was going to be the last one, "one more and that is enough". You repeated "one more" with one finger in the air. Just to be clear, I said it 10 different ways in two languages. And you didn't come and ask me for a fourth. You just sat there. And a little later you came back to me, and didn't ask for anything but a cuddle. Really remarkable.


I was trying to do some searching on the net and you came over and asked me to watch Thomas. We had a magical half an hour where you and me watch half a dozen episodes of thomas together, a couple you had never seen, and you had such a happy grin on your face. We played a game of squeeze, and there have been a lot of games going on like that lately where you do an action and I repeat it, and we change it a bit and carry on. But I think you were as happy as I could imagine a three year old being. You just kept hugging me like I was the best Daddy in the world. I know I should be glowing with pride because I think you think it, but it really is more important that you actually can think it. There was a few moments there that I just couldn't believe how lucky I was to have a boy as great as you.

The Epsom Salts are up to one cup in the bath, and you have to stay in there for 15-20 minutes, after having your skin scrubbed to open the pores. You have had a tendency of wanting out after ten minutes so we have, in true Greenspan fashion, gone with your obsessions. There are numbers and letters in the bath. Keeps you in there, and tonight after 15 minutes of me soaking you with the flannel on your head (which, unlike washing your hair where your hair gets wet), and you doing the same (except I was dressed) Nanny them came in and did another 20 minutes of fun. I can't imagine how you will miss her when she leaves tomorrow. To say more than you can ever imagine is an understatement, you have no idea how good it would be for you have her around every day. She has done amazing things with you in the last few days. I'll have to work on a way of making sure you get as much time with her as possible. After 35 minutes, and a soaked Daddy and Nanny, we pulled you out of the bath.

You didn't go down easily, I could hear noise coming from the bedroom at 10pm. I think we have to get the Nu Thera in you as quickly as possible. It can't keep going in after 4pm. Quite an excellent evening though. Possibly the happiest I have seen you be.


Little Steps: New words said: "want a tickle". Told you I was only giving you one more Chocolate Surprise and you actually accepted it. It was weird, you were hyper and as excited as you can imagine, we cut a deal "one more", you repeated it, and you never asked for another.
Poop: None. Empty after yesterday no doubt.
Sleep: Woke 7.15am. Nap 1.35pm to 2.30pm. Hard to get down, and you finally went to sleep at 10.15pm

Today's Food
Breakfast: Cornflakes and Rice Milk with Isogest (9.20am), Prigat Pear & Banana Juice with 1/4 tsp Calcium, 550mg Buffered Vitamin C and 1/2 capsule Nu Thera (9am)
Snack: Good For Me! Chocolate Cake with cashews (11am), 4 Good For Me! Vanilla Cookies
Lunch: 20 Gummy Bears (3pm), Eggy GF Bread with Isogest (3.45pm)
Snack: 3 Good For Me! Chocolate Truffles with dessicated coconut coating, Prigat Pear & Banana Juice with 250mg Buffered Vitamin C and 1/2 capsule Nu Thera (5pm), Banana
Dinner: Plate of rice, Spring Mango Nectar with 20mg capsule of Zinc(8pm)

The clocks went forward last night - which sort of threw me. You woke at 5.45, but it was really 6.45 and then you lay around poking me and Mummy in the mouth. It was quite good you woke early because you won't need your schedule changing slowly.

Your language has definitely improved. That is something odd. For me to notice it, well, I'm so close so there must have been a big step. More words, more varied structures. Adjectives used the right way - 'a red brick', 'a big car'. You are combining verbs all the time now - "want to sit", "want to give nee (me)", "want to go up".

We got ready pretty quickly, and went out the door. The new Good For Me! Chocolate Cake is a resounding success, it can't be baked in half a bag portion. I did one and a half bags and it was excellent and moist. I threw cashews in this time, low in salicylates, and it is yummy. You had some for breakfast. I gave you a banana in the car and your supplements in mango juice and off we headed to your new Occupational Therapist, Tal. She works in the Nadned Clinic near Mummy's office and it is ideal because she has a partner who does Communications Therapy. Hopefully we'll be able to combine their services and get you one program from the pair of them.

We sat and watched Tal more than we joined in. She started off with a vibrating frog, she put it on your back and got me to put it on your feet. I'm not sure what she was trying to see, but you didn't hate it. Then she put some weights around your ankles, which I think you liked. For a while you kept them on, and you actually asked to put the other one on when you were only wearing one. I need to do some research on that. Mummy talked to her a lot, but I don't really know what was said. I was more impressed in the way she played with you than I expected initially. However, you didn't make a lot of eye contact with her. I expected you to make more. Now, with Dania you made lots, from the get-go. I am not sure why. Dania is a more enthusiastic person generally, more bubbly. Tal has glasses, and maybe they are too much for you to look at. Mummy is the only other person you see in glasses for long periods of times that I see (as opposed to just for reading). What I am looking for though, if the OT is going to work, is a connection. We are going to come back next week at 10.15am on Friday, plus one other day during the week - Mummy and Tal will fix one up. I was thinking of 3 sessions, she said 2 is enough. 45 minutes is enough too apparently. I will bow to her superior knowledge. She worked in Alutaf, and she also said by the time we get you to Communication Nursery, you'll need less. Her colleague Raz hasn't called yet but will be calling to arrange a couple of sessions of communications therapy. Tal suggested that they follow the OT, because you will be regulated, though I am a little unsure if that will be a good idea. If you prefer the swing and we take you off it to put you in a room where there is a table and chairs you might not actually pay attention at all. It'd be better for me to take you out to the park, then come back.

We had a horrible horrible moment that I didn't expect when we left. I had a sticky valve on the tyre under where you sit so I stopped at the garage. We got out and the guy raised the car. You were ok for a while but then wanted to get down. I hoisted you out and then you saw the wheel come off (and the noise of the job but I think it was the wheel coming off). You got hysterical, and Nanny took you off crying. The guy was telling me to replace the front tyres because they were 3.5 years old, and I just kept

Little Steps: I think you have started to use adjectives. You used to say 'want a red one' now you say 'want a red brick, want a blue car'. There seems to be something clicking.
Poop: 12noon (loose), 5pm (loose), 6.30pm (loose)
Sleep: Woke 5.45am (now 6.45am), no nap, went to sleep 9pm

Today's Food
Breakfast: Cornflakes and Rice Milk (started 11.45am, finished 1.20pm), Mango Juice with 1/4 tsp Calcium, 550mg Buffered Vitamin C and 1/2 capsule Nu Thera (started 10am, finished 11.20am)
Snack: Chocolate cake (9.30am), Banana (10am), Chocolate Cake (11.45am)
Lunch: Fried Egg and Chips (4.30pm), Mango Juice
Snack: 250mg Buffered Vitamin C and 1/2 capsule Nu Thera (3pm)
Dinner: None, Spring Mango Nectar with 20mg capsule of Zinc(8pm, refused)

It's 6am and I just heard you make a noise. Maybe you are awake. It's already been quite a busy morning. I got an email from Ifat about the Mifne Centre. I asked her if she could find out if people on the 'inside' though the she was a quack. She said categorically not, quite the opposite. I asked her to come up with some important questions to make sure we get answers to. This is a copy and paste from her email:

In what areas or domains there will be improvements?

1. Communication: language?, more eye contact? more initiations? more sharing ("daddy, Look!" + pointing to thing that he is interested in, and want you to notice this too, and looking at you and the object intermediately.)?

2. Emotional: more positive affect directed to people and not only to objects (like number), less temper tantrum, less obsessions.

3. Social: more interested in his peers (how they can help? the sessions are not with other kids).

I think they are all good questions. There are no guarantees, but they are some of the areas that I would want to see an improvement in.

Hanna Alonim from the Mifne Center has rearranged the meeting for 5 April, which is better for me I think, it might be stressful for Mummy as it is her busy day in her busy week. Ifat and her colleagues have reservations about whether the very young children who go there might not have had PDD could be right, it could be wrong, I simply have no information on it, and I suspect their parents do know though. It does read like a scientist's viewpoint. Parents will be just relieved that they spent lots of money and time on an insurance policy. I'm not so fussed about Mifne's statistics, I'm more fussed that the Center is fussed. Hanna Alonim might actually say no to us, but she is too busy and she wouldn't waste time on us I think if she didn't think Ben had something she could work on. This is the thing that gives me hope. It is purely a logical, empirical, statistical, financial thing. She runs what is essentially a business - it's a private clinic - and her reputation is one of success. She doesn't invite charity or get involved in failure that she can see in advance.

I also thought that maybe - and this bit I don't know - but if you are going to Mifne, you are already doing lots of other things with your kid, it's not the first place you go, they have a long waiting list, so you would have already been working hard with your kid anyway. So it presumably must bring more than 10 hours of Greenspan a week to the table.

I also got an email from Roni, via the COO of Kirkman Labs:

I just received this info from the COO (Larry Newman) at Kirkman Labs and thought it might be of interest to you:

Minerals, probiotics and enzymes can be frozen indefinitely.
Oil soluble vitamins (A, E, D) can be frozen for significant lengths of time
Water soluble vitamins such as the B’s and C etc can be frozen for short lengths of time, not exceeding a few days. Beyond that, they pick up moisture and start degrading.

This may come in handy when ordering supplements to last through the summer months, too, such as probiotics, and if interested in making up some vita-popsicles

So, you'll be eating some home-made lollies from now on!!!

We took Mummy to work, and it was without any problems, which is pretty normal now. I am glad I keep this blog because you need to remember how hard things used to be. You can get used to normal very very quickly. You are counting all the time though, much more than before, and your memory for street numbers is shocking. I can see how people who can remember Pi to a million decimal places pull that off, basically they are high-functioning autistics. You spend lots of time counting backwards, 9,7,5,3,1...77,75,73...I am not sure if this isn't you remembering a street and its numbering. You love our street and Sderot Ben Amy, the numbers are not in sequence because they aren't all built. I sometimes take you on a trip there on the way back. We saw a fire next to number 25 Bnei Binyamin and you ask me to go back and visit it every day. It's gone, fortunately...

You are very good with the fish - you ask to feed them every day at least once. I read in the book A Friend Called Henry that Nuala taught her son responsibility via the dog. He needed

Little Steps: You pedalled a bike! Some very strange conversations towards the end of the day, almost startling. I am not sure, but I think something jumped forward. Let me check your language tomorrow. You said 'yes' a few times, 'ken' as well. You made excellent eye contact in the park and at home. Used words I can't remember you using...
Poop: None...
Sleep: Woke 6.30am. Nap 12.25pm to 2.40pm. In bed 9pm.

Today's Food
Breakfast: Chocolate Cake (double portion), Banana (8.45am) Cornflakes and Rice Milk (10am - fed to you because you wouldn't eat it probably due to the chocolate cake), Spring Mango Juice with 1/4 tsp Calcium, 550mg Buffered Vitamin C and 1/2 capsule Nu Thera (8.45am, not much drunk till 2pm)
Snack: Half a Golden Delicious Apple (11am)
Lunch: Cherry Jam Sandwich with homemade GF bread (3pm, refused and let Nanny feed you half at 5pm), Rice & Quinoa Spaghetti and homemade tomato sauce with GF soup mix (3pm, barely touched, let me feed you half at 3.45pm)
Snack: Mango Juice250mg Buffered Vitamin C and 1/2 capsule Nu Thera (5pm), 3 Good For Me! Chocolate Truffles
Dinner: Sweet Potato Chips (refused again), two bowls of rice (double helping), Spring Mango Nectar with 20mg capsule of Zinc(8pm)

A lie in. You woke at 7 something. Maybe 7.06am, it doesn't matter, seven anything is good. I lolled around in bed as you cuddled Mummy for an hour.

We took Mummy to work and it all went really well. You gave her a kiss, everything pretty normal. A little wave, and a request to go and see number seven. We got back, and you hadn't touched the banana juice - even without Nu Thera and Vit C in. I was confused. You toyed with it after breakfast and had a bit so I put it in a cup for you and of course, you spilled it and made a bigger mess clearing it up.

We had some Floortime with a rolling pin and cooking kit I bought. You were very keen to play 'batsek' and you know, there was real batsek inside. Apparently, a rolling pin set was not gluten-free. Blimey, you should have seen my face. You actually knew it was play-dough too. You gave it to me and asked for it. Bugger. We had some good exchanges and worked on turn-taking. You asked for help, and you asked me to do the spaghetti - 'want Daddy push'. It's really good to see that we are getting somewhere. The eye contact wasn't brilliant, though you understand the kif/what you want exchange. All the way through, I left you with your dummy in your mouth. It was clever since the play dough could end up there in a flash.

We went to the balcony and did some gardening, you were giving us a very sweet commentary "gina, garden" throughout and were very helpful. You put the stones in the pot, and dropped a few: "oh no, two stones", and "oh no, three stones". There were indeed two and three. I think you've done things like it before, but not perhaps as clearly.

After you came in, filthy, I took your smelly socks off. And I thought, since you had been playing with your toenails that I would employ the new gummy bears. I told you I wanted to cut you nails, and you took the clippers off me. You resisted but at least tried to cut your own fingernails. So I clamped your foot, bribed you with gummy bears and then snipped. And it cost me a dozen gummy bears, but I cut your toenails for the first time in a year maybe. They weren't long, but some had started to grow in. Excellent step.

You also got some more numbers that interlock. No number 1. You weren't stressed, and I remember you being hysterical about these things. You said, again, 'where's 4, find 4'. You use find now - perfectly correctly. Your language was excellent this morning and afternoon. A little echolalia, but almost all in context. Very little stimming except arm flapping. You asked where some numbers were, and I said "under you leg", "next to Nanny's feet", "behind you". You understood everything perfectly, showing your receptive language is pretty good. Your expressive language is not of the same standard, but to have the foundation is great. It is how we can build.

Nanny said that this was how you were in England - which is a big compliment because in the last couple of days she has said you are almost a different boy. I feel very relaxed just sitting here typing mid-afternoon.

Mummy left the pear and banana juice at Safta's so I nipped out and got it. Safta made you some excellent rice, which you wolfed down and some pasta which you didn't. I went to Mister Zol and grabbed some mango juice - Spring's doesn't have anything but mango in I think. Your tablets will go in somehow.

I left you with Nanny and you were great. I really wish she could be here with you more, she has a great connection and you only asked for me once in an hour. You are happy playing with her as I type right now, and I think she understands the basis of Floortime too. When we were out you said "happy, happy, happy", which in itself is very special. And Nanny asked "are you happy?" to which you replied "yeah". And she asked again and you answered again. Next week, when we go to Mifne, I want to rewatch the video I took of you at the start of February. I have a feeling it is going to show a whole leap forward. I can't underestimate the steps you have made.

Odd that I don't write too much about GFCFSF now. 3 weeks and a bit in, it is just part of the furniture almost. It's still a bit problematic, but I never thought I would have more problems with you giving up dates than I did with you giving up milk.

I decided to buy some mango juice for your supplements. It only has mango in, no apple top up, so if mangoes are in, I would think juice was too. You slurped it down with the Nu Thera and Vitamin C in. You really had an excellent mood, and oddly this time you preferred the rice to the pasta (last week you left one for the other).

We decided to go out to a park (without sand - it was raining) and we headed into town to the one along the seafront by the Park Hotel. You were absolutely magic. You found the only puddle in Netanya much to the amusement of two guys watching. There was a double slide and after the first time we went down together you insisted on me going on 'Daddy Slide'. We climbed and run around together. I lost you as you went to high up and Nanny had to run round and lift you over the fence. We went off and you tried to run into the Seasons Hotel, but you discovered the door revolved too late and tried to escape. You got stuck and the security guard saved you, and escorted you inside. We had a little tour and then I bribed you with gummy bears to get you back to the car. Very successful!


Little Steps: You let me cut your toenails for the first time in a year. Followed instructions with all sorts of prepositions. Used the verb 'find'. Said and waved 'bye bye' to every street number along the promenade. Poop: None
Sleep: Woke at 7.05am. Flaked out at around
6.45am
Today's Food
Breakfast: Cornflakes and Rice Milk (9am), Banana Juice(refused 8.15am, tiny bit drunk around 11am)
Snack: 12 Gummy Bears (11am), Banana Juice with with 1/4 tsp Calcium, 550mg Buffered Vitamin C and 1/2 capsule Nu Thera (11am, barely touched, and spilt)
Lunch: Lots of Rice, a tiny bit of Spaghetti in tomato sauce (rest left but came back and picked at), Mango Juice with 250mg Buffered Vitamin C and 1/2 capsule Nu Thera(1pm)
Snack: Golden Delicious Apple (4pm), Banana (4.15pm), 10 Gummy Bears
Dinner: Half slice of GFCF Eggy bread with over 0.25 eggs (5.30pm), Half egg (rest not eaten) and chips (6pm), Mango Juice with 250mg Buffered Vitamin C and 1/2 capsule Nu Thera(6pm)

First Day at the Baker Centre

You didn't wake up this morning because you didn't go to bed...or something like that.

You woke at 11pm in bed, dressed, wet from pee and sobbing. I ran to you and idea why you were sobbing. Maybe you’d had a bad dream, maybe you’d not realised where you were, maybe you had huge withdrawal pangs.

I thought you would go back to sleep – you did the time before when you crashed mid-afternoon (March 4 I think). No, you were awake, and not going back to sleep. I tried, but no success, so I went to sleep in the lounge, and thought Mummy would be better at getting you to sleep. As it turned out, she wasn’t and you were still awake, playful and watching TV when I came back at 3.15am. I told Mummy to leave you with me, and after about 45mins I think you were either exhausted or it was blatantly obvious to you I wasn’t having it. I think Mummy was just too tired to fight with you.

We had a very important meeting with the Baker Centre in Bar Ilan University at 8.15am. A woman called Ayelet (aren’t they all?) will be working with us as part of their research. They do a programme very much like Floortime, but very practical so perhaps a real-life application rather than theory. We got there, slightly late after taking a wrong turn (can you believe that the massive university is not on GPS?). Ayelet filmed us for 10 minutes each playing with you, me first (despite the fact that I did win scissors paper stone with your mum). It went quite well, we did 10 pretty good minutes of Floortime and there were lots of typical things for her to see. Warmth, part-compliance, requests, erratic eye-contact etc. Mummy came in next and you did 10 minutes of filmed Floortime with her. It was the first time I’d had the chance to see you and just watch. I’d been a little sad at points over the last few days that nothing was going forward, lots was going backwards. This time I got to watch you, and as well as Mummy doing an excellent job with you (and thoroughly deserving the praise from Ayelet), you definitely have made progress. You made eye-contact that you never made once when you requested things. You said “want to give me”, and asked for a kif when you wanted something. Kisses and some, not enormous amounts, but some joint play. And definite understanding that there was a concept of joint play, I think. More of an acceptance of we both will work towards your goal of completing something rather than us getting in your way to complete it alone. It will be very interesting to see if Ayelet agrees. She was very complimentary about us, and asked if I had been on a course. She said it was like textbook Greenspan.

The cost is 150NIS an hour, and for the next two weeks you won’t be coming, the sessions are for us, and you are the tool. We’ll go over the findings Ayelet and her colleagues make this week and get some advice about how to get you to the next level, as she says. We had to sign a release to say they can show the filming to other professionals, use it in conferences etc. That is why it is so cheap. I was quite positive when I left, as was Mummy. I don’t think the sessions last forever (otherwise we’d never get a place) but they will no doubt really help us.

I rang Mifne to see if we could get next week’s meeting earlier so we only had to go to Tel Aviv without you in the morning, but no chance, Hanna Alonim herself is coming from Rosh Pina and she will be meeting us. I’ve been quite positive about Mifne, I think that it is a way of us doing things the way I would like. If we get 5 hours of therapy a week organised till September, I’d prefer it to be 10hrs for the first half and then none for the second half, I’d have lots of tools and could implement the stuff I’d learned, if that makes sense. I think intensive programs can form habits too. They give big boosts to your progress. And if there is 8 or 10 hours a day for 21 days, that totals 200 hours of therapy. Which would normally cost 40,000NIS. So it costs about that maybe, and you get lots of extras…I’m positive. Mummy read on the forum that some people thought it was a miracle, others didn’t think it was exactly a miracle, but it was good. I suspect some people actually went there and hoped for a miracle, got improvements and were disappointed. She was very impressed that we are going to get an hour with Hanna Alonim though to discuss Ben. There is the rumour going around that not everyone can get on the program, and that is why they have such a high success rate. They are private so they don’t have the obligation of the health service. So my logic is that if they want you, they think they can help you – there are only a couple of families there at one time. So if they want you, you should go. They obviously feel there is something that they see in you that they feel can be taken substantially further, and for the price of 200 hours of therapy which we will be getting you anyway, I think it can only be good.

After we dropped Mummy off at work (another success, it used to be hard, now you wound your window down, kissed Mummy and said “Mummy to work”) we went and met Nanny in town. We drove to the garden centre and perhaps shouldn’t have. You were bordering on hungry, and Shafiq wasn’t there. We waited, and typically, though first, my Englishness allowed 2 people to push in front. You were surprisingly calm though. You came to see me, said “go back home” and spent most of your time with Nanny. I’m really pleased that you are so happy to be around her. I read things that say that high functioning austistic kids can have close relationships with their parents, but don’t let other people in. Nanny, you see infrequently, and it is the same as when you leave off. You definitely know she is your Nanny. I’m not sure you know she is my mum, but she is your nanny.

We eventually got home, you were hungry, we had plants, though. We got in the lift, you pressed Bet, I pressed 4 and then you press 1, 2 and 3 but calmly got out on 4. You had breakfast and scoffed it down. You did ask for pitta-cheese but happily accepted the cornflakes. We did a bit of Floortime, some bouncing. I tried to get your pear and banana shake inside you but you weren’t having it. You smelt it and pushed it away so I tried just straight banana. No chance. So I had a think about it, and I really don’t know the role of salicylates if you are intolerant. Are they making you belly sore, brain foggy, increasing your candida, everything. Is a bit ok? One date, not ten? There are low, moderate, high, very high columns. Some fruits appear on the low in some lists, moderate in others. I’m too confused.

We went to Caesaria with Nanny for some tourist stuff. When we left I asked you to turn the light on, the one behind you. You turned round and did it. You are definitely following instructions more. You slept from the car till the Hippodrome, and then after a little shiver (there was a storm brewing), and a little bit of Eggy Bread I cleverly packed, you headed off like a madman counting the pillars, running around, trying to get into the baths that haven’t been used for 2000 years. You were very good though, and I tried to get you into positions that you need help to climb etc. You were really very good. You asked me almost every time. I think it was also a really big thing that you headed off with Nanny for a bit. Not because you are ok with Nanny, but because I was there, and you came running to me, but we ok when you weren’t with me. The more people with whom you can be like you are with me, the better. I read on a forum someone’s therapist described a kid like you, who is very responsive to his parents and not to others as having ‘all the tools in the toolbox, and just needs to know he should use them more’. Quite fitting I think.

While we were waiting in the car for Mummy, you were ok. We played a game with the lights, and then you started to kiss my hand. Halfway through, your eyes changed and you bit me. They’ll be a bruise, I have a teeth ring on the top of my hand already. You then were biting your jumper, and your knee. You seemed closer to sorry than you usually are. I never shouted, and you – I think – kissed my hand better. But it was really something unusual, I’ve no idea if it will happen again. It must be four or five months since you bit me. I’m not actually sure you have a clue what biting is, and that it hurts. No idea. I was just shocked.

You went to Safta’s and on the way there you were saying “Safta, safta, safta”, and really happy to go. This is such a good sign. We told you stuff, you took it in, you did what a regular kid does and got excited about seeing someone. You ate more (I was surprised, you’d barely finished eating ‘four’ – Eggy Toast chopped into 4 bits), rice, and then more rice (Mummy is reassured that most of the world think that rice is better for you than bread!). Two poops, sticky apparently. Safta was probably ecstatic, I was concerned – two in the morning, two in the evening. Though none yesterday. Apparently you were behaving great and asked Mummy to help you when you got stuck with the computer. You only usually ask me (or only ever, I think) so again, a step forward. Usually it is the computer, so we’ll teach you to ask for help with other things too.

I got an email from Roni about what fruits were ok for the low salicylate diet – she said peaches. I don’t know. I’m just waiting for mango to come into season. She also said we should drop the Nu Thera because of the sleep pattern being disturbed but today was ok. I’ll have a look at it in the morning.

I’ve upped the Epsom Bath salts to 1 cup (almost now). I need to find a better source – it will be very expensive otherwise. If we go to 2 cups a day, we’ll need something like 15kgs a month and that is around 450NIS from Morris. We need to buy them in 50kg bags I think. The numbers in the bath mean you stay in for very long though. A big success. They are not so cheap and it is important to get that stuff through your skin. Sometimes you are too tired you want to get out after 5 mins. I prefer you to stay for 20. You were zonked out at 10pm when I lifted you out. I did notice the red rings round your eyes though. You were asleep in 5 minutes.

Little Steps: Sought me out to play all sorts of blinking and gestures game. I blink you blink. Several incidents of joint association, pointing to something and looking at me. You got a birthday present from Safta, you unwrapped it and sang 'happy birthday' in Hebrew. Clearly you know what is going on there.
Poop: Small poop, formed!!! (1pm), bigger poop, 2.15pm, soft. Two more in close succession around 8pm and 8.30pm, soft/sticky
Sleep: Woke at 11pm in tears, and went to sleep after many efforts around 4.30am. Woke again at 7am. Nap between 3pm and 4.15pm. In bed at 10.15pm and asleep in 5 minutes

Today's Food
Breakfast: Cornflakes and Rice Milk (12noon), Banana & Pear` Smoothie (7.15am, barely touched) with 1/4 tsp Calcium, 550mg Buffered Vitamin C and 1/2 capsule Nu Thera
Snack: Banana (7.45am) Golden Delicious Apple (11am)
Lunch: Bite of a peeled pear (the rest left) (2.30pm), 3.25 slices of GFCF Eggy bread with over 1.5 eggs (4.30-5.30pm), Nestle Lemon Ice Lolly
Snack: Good For Me! Chocolate Cake (not touched - 12.30pm), Two Good For Me! Vanilla Cookies (2pm), Banana Juice (refused), Orange Juice with 250mg Buffered Vitamin C and 1/2 capsule Nu Thera (2pm)
Dinner: Two bowls of rice (double helping), Prigat Banana and Pear Juice (7.30-8pm)

Bituah Leumi were nice...can you believe it?

You woke in quite muted form. Mummy woke you around 6.45am because we needed to go to Dania. She said that you didn't sit still when you we having your nappy changed, and she used the word 'kicked' but I didn't have any problem so I am not sure. You were clearly very tired, and when I tried to take your dummy in the car you screeched and threw your shake on the floor. This is something I have noticed a lot
of since the end of the first week of the diet, this screeching. It almost has nothing to do with your mood.

It was fairly apparent that you were not in the best of spirits for Dania, and somehow we ended up in Room 12, which was not good. You didn't seem to want to play at all. You wouldn't give up your dummy despite our best efforts at turning it into a game. Even the physical games you seems unable to connect with us very well. You did talk, and you did say "want to give nee" but unlike previous weeks where you and Dania were having a blast, this time I felt we were stopping you playing what you wanted, or rather how you wanted (ie alone). It is maybe just relative. Most of the time there was back and forth interaction, but only at the end when you allowed me to take your dummy did I think you were actually not trying to sleep. We even played a sleep game which you seemed to take for real. Dania said she would be happy developing a program with another therapist as well so Mummy can sort out something with the woman who's working near her office.

Oddly, you didn't want to get out of the car when we got back, and told me something like "back home not" - I think you want to go and see the fire (which hopefully has died out!), number 26, 25 etc. You are almost always counting in the car now, and there has been a big increase in the counting. Your TV channel obsession is much bigger too. To the point where we can barely watch TV at times. Certainly our TV anyway.

I also feel you are starting to line your toys up more. Instead of appropriate play increasing, it is like since therapy, biomedical and diet intervention, you have actually played less and less appropriately. Maybe. Maybe I'm tired and no judge of these things. I think sometimes I go looking for a miracle and and disappointed to find a slight improvement.

An odd thing happened as you watched TV: a whirring motor (maybe a motorbike) went past outside and you said "lots and lots of noise". The noise - if it was that one, was coming from the same direction as the TV.

I couldn't get you to eat your breakfast when we came in, Nanny had moved the sofa to clean the window, and Shlomovitch was trying to fix the dishwasher. It was perhaps too difficult for you to concentrate, tool boxes, noise and balagan. After I got things back to normal in the lounge, you sat down and ate pretty well, though I do wish you would sit rather than walk around.

I was in two minds whether to take you out or let you sleep. I'm so terrified of Mummy I figured I'd try and keep you awake. We went to the car (the lift is still easy by the way), and the went to the park. It wasn't quite as successful with the sticks as last week, but you did say "want to splash, Ben". This is a big breakthrough, and I think that pronouns aren't far now. You did another couple of sentences like it too (Go down the stairs, Ben was one). We had a bit of fun, you had a lolly, and you took your shoes off and we ran around getting sandy (following on from the wet and muddy after you did indeed splash. I have to say, though you have been a little bit subdued, and at other times just less happy in the last week, if I asked you not to go into the water a month ago, you would have just run in. That is what happened every time, and in Caesaria for example.

I was aware that last night you went to sleep late, despite your best effort and thought maybe I had given you a second dose of Nu Thera late. So I gave you some in a cup of orange juice around 2pm. We're up to half a capsule in the morning, a quarter in with lunch. It's supposed to be with food, so it is in a shake which is fruit and water, and then this one you had as you ate (or picked at food that you were shovelling in last week).

We rushed to pick Mummy up, and ducked into town for a meeting with Bituah Leumi. Rather than being the evil grilling that we expected, the Dr (and it was a doctor) was very helpful. He said that we should try and get a document from Ifat saying that you were checked out a year ago and she had seen clear indications in order for them to approve a payment that is backdated. Very odd. Ifat agreed to write it.

Yael and Dania both rang today. Yael rang to say that we shouldn't all be in her sessions, the room is too small and it doesn't work so only either me or Mummy can take you in. I have to say, this is not working for me. I think her judgments are right in the most part, but that is the academic side of things. The identification and matching of boxes. That is not the real job in hand, the real job is to create a connection. To think that you give her more than two acknowledgements in 3 sessions because you have two parents there. You absolutely don't have a problem with speaking two languages at once, no more than I do, no more than your mum does. And you do not get overwhelmed by two parents being in the same room. I just need Yael to give you therapy with confidence and stop over-analyzing things. Three weeks, two radical changes (Mummy is supposed to speak Hebrew, only one parent should come) does not show confidence, understanding or patience. It also disregards our ideas and input. I have shown resistance to this. I think I will talk to Yael, it can't be we get everything turned upside down all the time. I think Communications Therapy is much more important for us, I can do lots of good Occupational Therapy, I'm good at that. And for it not to work is sad. I've spoken to Mummy and I've told her I want to get extra sessions with another therapist and hopefully there will be a better connection, and hopefully a programme can be built on that. Maybe things will improve with Yael, she definitely knows her stuff. We'll see.

Dania said she was worried that if we introduced another therapist into the situation it might be too much for you. Again, I can't say I disagree. She suggested that maybe you should have someone like a student work with you too. I'm a bit confused as to what she was most concerned about. I know it was coming from a good place though and I'm going to see what she meant. I just think with one and a quarter professional hours per week, you will not progress at the speed I think you can. Maybe, in line with Yael's comments, we should do 3 hours CT and 3 hours OT extra per week in the place near Mummy's office. We can do another hour and a quarter in the Clinic Tikshoret and maybe include another couple of things like hydrotherapy. I want a proper program in place by the end of the month.

After Bituah Leumi, we went to the market to buy some fruit and eggs. Low salicylates, pears and banana smoothie is my thoughts on the matter. And you collapsed in the buggy at around 3.45pm. And that was it for the day. Something was clearly not right. You were very irritable in the meeting, and irritable all day. I emailed Roni for her thoughts, but I am quite worried. Mummy said it was maybe the Nu Thera, but I can't see it. I'm blogging this, and the behaviour dipped maybe 6 days ago, the day I went with you to get Nanny. I'm thinking, I'm thinking...


Little Steps: You said "want to splash, Ben", as opposed to just "want to splash". You emphasised the Ben, as if it was a step on the way to saying "Ben wants to splash". You did it a couple of times.
Poop: None
Sleep: Woken at 6:45am, collapsed for the night in the buggy in the market at 3:45pm.

Today's Food
Breakfast: Cornflakes and Rice Milk (started at 9.15am then returned to at 10.15am), Banana & Date Smoothie (8am) with 1/4 tsp Calcium, 550mg Buffered Vitamin C and 1/2 capsule Nu Thera
Snack: Strauss Apricot Flavoured Ice Lolly. And some of mine
Lunch: Fried egg, lentil patty (refused), Rice (picked at and majority left)
Snack: Half a big pack of corn puffs
Dinner: Asleep....

Parental Meltdown

You woke at 6am, and I asked Mummy to go and get you. I was exhausted, and I thought that it might be a good thing for me to get a lie in. Mummy came, put you on the bed, and went back to sleep. I was very pissed off and had an argument with Mummy. So she left for the day. I think that we really need to work out a better way of dealing with exhaustion. It is no good to get someone to be with you when we are not exhausted, but when we break, everyone else needs sleep more than us.

I stayed in bed and left you with Nanny, who made you cornflakes. You were much happier and not showing the signs of illness and flakiness from the day before. I'm glad I didn't give you the megadoses we discussed with Roni, though it is good to know we can use the supplement as an option. She told me to go and have a bath, and she took you on a two and a half hour hike of building sites, the café by the beach, the beach, the boat at the bottom of our building. By all accounts, you were well behaved, you didn’t run off much and you held Nanny’s hand

When you came back, I was in the bath having a soak. I was reading the book Diet Intervention and Autism by Marilyn Le Breton. There were lots of things in there about why you need to do this diet, and her son Jack showed lots of signs in behaviour and physically like you. His diet streamlined to bread and milk, he had stress attacks that could be calmed with food (ie illicit ones), and had red cheeks. She said she was convinced when she read a list of physical and behavioural traits that were typical and her boy had this intermittent red ear. How could they know?! I however was shocked that eating sand was on the list of strange behaviours, and excessive clinginess was part of the weaning process. You spent 10 days maybe (and not now) asking for constant cuddles. It’s much less now. It really is an excellent book. It has lots of things in there which are great to read – in layman’s terms – about the mini-fix that you get from MSG and aspartame. I was intrigued to read that you needed several fixes every day, I thought that you had one that lasted a long time, hence the long weaning process. Now I think about it, I can see this is right.

In the afternoon, you had a sleep. Probably well deserved to be honest. Me and Nanny watched the Bourne Ultimatum, which was a good film though probably not one to watch if you are feeling seasick – the camera doesn’t sit still. When you woke up we had a good afternoon, your mood was very good. It was about 4pm, so you’d been asleep maybe 3 hours. In this time we had cleaned the house, mopped the floor, cleaned the windows and fixed the hoover. It’s good having Nanny around sometimes. You of course thought it would be good to put your stinky dirty hand on a clean window or two. You will be punished.

Mummy came back around 7pm, and she’d been studying. You were very happy, and quite lucid this evening. Mummy told Nanny that I was a brilliant father, and an absolute saviour for you. She has said some things that have hurt me so much in this last year. I was in horrible trouble a year ago today, but to hear her say that I am the best father she’s ever seen was very special. Nanny said she had never seen one so selfless, or someone to change their world so much for their kid, and she told Mummy that I need a break more and more support.

I made a decision to try and start a low salicylate diet from tomorrow – pear and banana shake, dates are high in salicylates. I made one up and it tastes ok. I tried to get some Zinc in you in the pancake I made but you just didn't want it. Bugger. Also, the cherry jam is actually cherry pie filling. Tasty, but not jam. Apparently Zinc needs to go in last so it does it's job best. Of course, that leaves it open to being left. I'll devise a better plan for it.

You were really quite playful tonight, and your bedtime routine went pretty well. In bed by 9.30pm. We were in bed by 10pm! Nanny is taking advantage of the time difference I think.



Little Steps:

Sleep: Nap - 1pm - 4.10pm (woke up yourself). Bed - 11pm

Poop: 12.30pm - loose/soft, quite smelly

Today's Food
Breakfast: Cornflakes and Rice Milk (8am), Banana & Date Smoothie (started 8am, drank most of between 11.30am and 12.15pm) with 1/4 tsp Calcium, 550mg Buffered Vitamin C and 1/2 capsule Nu Thera
Snack: Orange Juice
Lunch: 4.30pm Two slices of Eggy Toast with GF Bread, one egg.
Snack: Chocolate Cake (didn't finish), Orange Juice
Dinner: 8.30pm Good For Me! Chocolate Cake (didn't finish again), Homemade Banana Ice Cream (with Eggs Yolks, Sugar and Almond Milk), Orange Juice with 1/4 capsule Nu Thera

Your Birthday!!!

You woke at 6.15am. It seems to be the time regardless of whatever happens the night before. I have to say, you didn't seem very perky. We gave you a big hug on the bed and you cuddled up a bit. Quite lethargic.

Today was your birthday. I was very busy and couldn’t write very much so I am writing this a couple of weeks nearly after the event. You were three. I never thought of three when you were a day old. I couldn’t imagine what you would be like. I remember wondering what your voice would be like. That is as far as it went. I’ve never had huge expectations of you, though I have had huge expectations of me. I think the same applies to the ASD. I don’t know where you are going to go with this. You won’t be the same as you were, you’ll be much better but how better I don’t know.

It’s odd. You read a lot on forums and some people with ASD say leave me as I am. Other parents say things like I don’t want to get rid of his quirks, they make him (and it is usually a him) who he is. Well, let’s just say this: firstly Greenspan says that adults with autism usually say that they didn’t actually enjoy the spaced out times, they just did it to cope. Secondly, you have your own free will. When we are through with therapy and stuff, and you choose to screech rather than speak, that is your call. I suspect that sort of philosophy applies to everything not just ASD. If you can do something, and you choose to do it one way rather than another, fair play. But if you can’t so you cope the only way you can (stimming, blanking people, whatever), then I will give you all the tools I can with all the love I can. That is it. When you have the choice, and the ability to choose, you can choose. And I’m sure you’ll do the speaking rather than screeching thing. You already do that know.

And some parents say that they love the autism, it makes their child who he is. Well, I don’t. I don’t love something that distresses you. I don’t love something that can make you frustrated and sad. I love you more than I ever thought anyone could love anything, but I don’t love autism. I’ll leave it to others to hug trees and thank the Lord for the blessing of autism. I’ll do my job as a dad and equip you as best I can for everything in life.

You didn’t have such a happy birthday, though oddly, you did know it was your birthday. You asked for a present, and you were very overwhelmed at one point. We got you your basketball ring (which I put up a couple of days later) and we played with it on the sofa (risking it falling as you dunked and crushing your skull). Safta got you some goldfish (well, guppies) and Mummy spent the night before inexpertly transferring them to a tank that has a pirate ship in. You loved it and I am going to help you feed them with their gluten heavy food every day.

Nanny got you a candle that played happy birthday and you got all overwhelmed and went to the sofa ‘lo yodea ma alasot’ – I don’t know what to do. I think candles in your mind shouldn’t make noises. It was very strange to see, you had a sensory shock (I think) and then you just took yourself off and did a very normal thing. Had a sit down, no screeching.

You actually weren’t well from late morning, clammy, subdued. Not sure why. You just curled up. Mummy and me had a fight, and Nanny was miserable all day. She couldn’t put her finger on why so Mummy took it personally. All a bit of a mess. You went over to Safta’s in the evening, and I went shopping with Nanny. I spoke to Roni about what to do with a temperature since I can’t give you Acamoli. There is a combination of vitamins I can use but by the evening you’d bounced back.

I hope next year’s birthday brings more happiness all round. It didn’t escape me that it was a year ago me and Mummy had the huge fight.



Little Steps:You definitely knew it was your birthday. We sang you "happy birthday" and you said it was your birthday. You also appeared overwhelmed at one point - and took yourself off to the sofa and said "lo yodea ma la'asot". No screeching. Just quiet. The candle and presents were too much maybe.

Today's Food
Breakfast: Cornflakes and Rice Milk, Banana & Date Smoothie with calcium and Nu Thera
Snack: Orange juice, peach juice
Lunch: Fried Egg, Potato and Sweet Potato Chips (chips refused)
Snack: Chocolate cake (refused), Prigat Diet Grapefruit Syrup with aspartame
Dinner: Rice, Chips, Pancake with Zinc and Cherry Sauce (one bite taken, bugger)

Not complete

It's always nice having to retype paragraphs upon paragraphs because you think that you have the right to press escape and delete out everything. I can tell you it is very bloody frustrating.

You woke at maybe 6.15 and were grizzly on your bed. I went to pick you up and you smelt very strange. The last time I smelt anything like it you were on antibiotics and your pee smelt awful, like chemicals. I thought you had done a poop, but for some reason, I couldn't see it, and I didn't change your nappy. You were all over the shop on the bed, very happy, then screeching, great eye contact, then throwing the remote in frustration on the floor. It was like some things seemed better, some worse. You were playful, then kicked out.

Then you asked several times for pitta cheese, so I offered you a biscuit which at least diverted you. I asked you 'how many buscuits?' and you answered, straight off 'want two, want three biscuits'. I can't remember you doing that before. And in light of last night, I was amazed. You of course will apply this trick to get snacks before breakfast.

You wouldn't sit to eat so we decided to change your nappy. You had a rather solid poop, and the smell was really unpleasant. Your bum was bright red too, like when you had taken antibiotics. We put barrier cream on and cleaned you up, and after that your behaviour was quite amazing. Excellent eye contact, following instructions. Well, almost all, all with the exception of drinking your bloody shake with Calcium and Super Nu Thera in. I tried to use almond milk and banana, again forgetting the rule to never change a winning formula.


Little Steps:"How many biscuits?" - "want 2, want 3". Don't think you've answered a "how many" question so directly.

Today's Food
Breakfast: Cornflakes and Rice Milk, Banana & Date Smoothie with calcium and Super Nu Thera in Almond Milk (spread out over the day), 5 vanilla cookies, Ribena
Snack: Orange juice, Pear
Lunch: Fried Egg and Chips
Snack: Gummy bears
Dinner: none...too exhausted I think.

Nu Thera goes in

You woke up around 6.15 in strange form. It was odd, because usually you would have Yael so we it is the day I would expect you to lie on the floor unable to speak let alone ask what you want. You were pretty much like that. Numbers were the most important thing, and although you sort of acknowledge me and your mum, you blanked Nanny pretty much. She was quite patient though, even if I could see it was a little distressing to her. Fortunately after the episode the night before where you complained about your stomach, Nanny could see that the whole thing is linked.

We had no communications therapy today, Yael rang in sick I think, so Mummy got a call yesterday. It is blatantly apparent that a kid with ASD and a communications disorder probably needs more than 30 minutes every week, and as it seems to be, not every week. And then when you are there you don't participate. We can't fix up a double session next time with Yael, it's not private, so you go without. Mummy is going to find someone to give us extra sessions. It's important to start with a programme now. Especially as you are not going to Alutaf.

Obviously, we have a theory that the Epsom Salts has had an effect on your calmness. The morning after it entered your system you let us change your nappy without any fuss. This morning, after no bath the night before you kicked Mummy as she took your nappy off. You were aggressive and I had to come and help. I'm not sure I need any more proof. You will have a bath if I have to put you in asleep.

It has become easier to get Mummy to work at the minute, though you have started to memorise every visible door number on the route, and play the "where's 49? Here's 49!" game. So when Mummy gets out, and after you play the "Mummy gym!" "No, Mummy office!" game, you look for number 7, then 9...not really waving as much. Then up by the traffic lights when the numbers have run out you always say "oh no, Mummy gone to work". Same place every day. It's not something to particular worry about, and I am not sure what is going on, but in a way I'd prefer you to do it before the numbers run out.

After we got back, you played with Nanny a bit. I tried to explain to Nanny before a bit about what ASD is, what marks you out as different. I explained a little bit about the lack of joint play, and how you preferred to play alone or use the play-partner as a vehicle to get what you want. She brought some toys that demand two players and didn't really understand how deep the lack of understanding of joint play is. I think Nanny thinks you prefer to play alone, I used the word "prefer" above. It is more that you can't play with another person. There is a block there. So you will play inappropriately alone when it is easier to take turns. Like you would always play chess against yourself rather than with someone else. Very much like I did as a kid (though I suspect with me it wasn't that I didn't want to, I was just too good to get bored playing people who were useless!). But you and Nanny had some time together.

Clearly, with you jittery and resistant to having your nappy changed, I thought it was better to get you in the bath and not to the playground. I don't give you baths very often, I'd sort of forgotten quite what fun we had when we were in England. So I decided to make water the game, not the boats like Mummy does. And we had a blast, water on me, on the floor, everything soaked, and a 3/4 cup (rather than half) of Epsom Salts soaked in for 25 minutes. Roni told us to work our way up to 2 cups (though she did say 1 before). I need to find somewhere cheaper than 30NIS a kilo.

I started to make Almond Milk, following further advice from Roni. She said it is even better for you, and someone posted on a forum about it. I found lots of recipes online, and I followed one I soaked a cup of almonds for 6 hours, rinsed them, put them in a jug and blended them. Water went everywhere, so I'll use less water initially next time. Then I strained it in a sieve and it tasted, well, ok. It needs a little sweetening. I'll use it for your shakes or something.

Lunch was a revelation. I wasn't sure what to give you, so I put a sweetcorn fritter, rice and pasta from yesterday all on one plate. You ate the spaghetti in tomato sauce. I almost fell off my chair! You left the fritter, barely touched the rice. Another huge breakthough. Your taste buds are changing. The theory about your diet opening up is definitely showing signs of being right.

I also worked out how to give you half a capsule of Nu Thera. It was a trick opening it and an even bigger trick working out how much was half, but I sprinkled it in a glass bowl (clever suggestion from Nanny, plastic isn't smooth enough and you leave half the powder on the plastic). I put it in your smoothie. I figured it was food anyway and Roni said it should be taken with food no later than early afternoon in case you get hyperactive. The smoothie has a strong taste and because you slurp it throughout the morning it seemed ideal. I'm not sure if you can mix up all sorts in one shake or if they have to be separated, but Roni will let me know.

After lunch you were in much better form. We went to town and took Nanny to the market - you came back when we called your name and your were very good. We took the buggy and generally I was impressed. I usually have a harder time just walking through the streets of Galei Yam. After a while it was noticeable that you started to respond less to us, came back less. I really have an idea it might be a slow build up of sensory images, eventually you just go hyper. You were much calmer when we started than when we were all worn out and dying to sit down. We saw you run around a park, flitting between the slides and swings and other attractions. I really need to get some handle on the fact you have a sensory disorder.

Dr Bronshtein wanted to see us at 6.45 so we went along and talked with him for an hour. We showed him the OAT and Stool Tests results and he was very interested. We thought we would approach him in the 'we saw you, we ran some tests, can you interpret them with us' way, rather than just wade in with our minimal understanding and demand stuff. We sat with him and asked for his interpretation, he has a copy of the results, completely understands that there is a link between diet and behaviour and has a PhD in (I think it is this in English) Allergiology). He wanted to discuss things with Roni and look into the whole ASD/diet thing further. We didn't actually ask him for the fluconazole because it was pretty clear he wasn't going to prescribe it then without doing lots of researching, if he would at all. However he did say you should never have antibiotics without probiotics (which is quite radical) and make sure that we give both. He also said you haven't been to see him in ages, so maybe we should keep you out of gan!!! We also got the tests back from the Kupat Holim. Nothing too alarming according to Dr Bronshtein, they tested for gluten I think (coeliac) and it looks like he is the opposite. I don't understand them completely but Roni will. All in all, a very positive meeting. He also wanted to check out the doctors who do DAN! in Israel.

We'd been looking for adverse reactions all day to SNT. Then while we were seeing Dr Bronshtein, Nanny said you did an almighty poop up you back. Of course, with all these changes, you never know what it is for sure. I think it could be from the bath water that morning with Epsom Salts. Nanny put you in the bath and you were dressed for bed, lying on our bed playing with Nanny as we came home. Mummy put you to sleep and said you were absolutely brilliant with you Rabbit Sits on the Train book. You actually answered questions, you did the order right of the things sitting on the train, rather than the order you wanted to say them and you answered direct questions like "what is that?" with the correct word: "Sea" or whatever. Super Nu Thera? Extra Epsom Salts that day? Who knows but it was good.

You went to sleep easily around 8pm. All in all a success I think. I think mostly, bouncing back after what might have been the strawberries has helped me show Nanny that food can be bad. She's allergic to lactose, so she didn't need much convincing - but she gets pain, you get spaced out. Pain you can see, spaced outness is not so easy to identify with.

Little Steps: Responded to questions perfectly during bedtime story.

Today's Food
Breakfast: Cornflakes and Rice Milk, Banana & Date Smoothie with calcium and 1/2 Capsule of Nu Thera
Snack: Chocolate Cake, Prigat Raspberry Syrup
Lunch: Rice (barely touched), Sweetcorn Fritter (refused), Rice and Quinoa Spaghetti in tomato sauce (scoffed - I understand nothing).
Snack: Banana, 8 dried apricots
Dinner: French toast (made of two slices of GF bread, one egg and sugar and salt)

New Arrivals

Ok, I guess the fact that your nanny came today was a biggie. I was very excited, and quite relieved. I can't tell you how exhausting this is for me but not for a second would I change a thing. Except the amount of hours in a day.

But it wasn't just Nanny coming today, the supplements from Kirkman's came today too. This is a very good thing! I sent an email off to Roni and hopefully she'll tell us what to do and when. The Cod Liver Oil didn't somehow end up on the order, so we'll get that in the next round. No idea what happened, but we have a very big list of supplements to start introducing - Vitamin A, Enzymes, Vitamin C, Nu Thera, Zinc, the Fluconazole when we get a prescription, Klaire's Therbiotic #1 and CoQ10. I'm not sure what I should do first, I don't want to try one that you might react badly to on your birthday. Maybe we'll just try something like the enzymes. I've heard that the Super Nu Thera can make kids go hyper. None of us want to see something like that after 3 days - bang on your birthday.

We dropped you off at Safta's this morning at 7.30am. You woke around half an hour before and were in great form again. It's odd, I write that every day but really, once not too long ago that was a big deal. Today, you surpassed yourself. Calm getting ready, calm changing your nappy (poop before breakfast, they are soft now all the time, 1-2 a day). You were calm leaving, calm in the lift, great getting into the car. But then, after we told you (and we are making a point of making things clear) that we were leaving you with Safta, you got out the car, said bye and walked off painlessly to the building. Quite remarkable really.

We had to nip into the Child Development Unit to pick up a photocopy of your nursery questionnaire for Dalia Marco, who works for the Council and co-ordinates all of your education needs. She's really nice, and we explained over the course of a couple of hours how flexible we were, and how we preferred to be given the option of deciding whether we could, for example, take you to Eilat for Alutaf or not. We suggested finding part-time Alutaf, even. I'm very keen to get you into real professional situations. I'm ok at Floortime, but I sometimes feel I hit walls. Also, I suspect you love me and Mummy so much that you respond better to us. I'm quite optimistic, and Dalia said we should be at least able to get a teaching assistant for you with experience helping kids with autism. There was to be honest, not much prospect of getting you into Alutaf, but Mummy said that Dalia should understand that we are much more flexible - we can do a few hours a week and Dalia took that on board. There seems to be little hope of a 'honekhet', a home help, before September but we'll see. I was intially against the idea of nursery with an assistant, but it fluctuates. Part of me doesn't want to change a winning formula, but even today my thoughts on it changed. I think if it works, it might be a good thing for 3 hours a day.

I heard that you slept for another 3 hours at lunchtime, more in fact. I am a bit at a loss to understand how you can sleep for 3-4 hours at lunch, or some days not at all. I also have very little idea of what is physiologically happening to you. You seemed happy enough to see me when I pulled up at the gate to Safta's building. But I think I was initially a little disturbed that you didn't seem to acknowledge Safta when she said goodbye. There was something unusual about the lack of eye contact.

On the trip to the airport, you counted a bit, but you were ok. It's always hard to see from the front seat. Nanny arrived as we did, so we met up at the pick up point, I was very wary about coming in with all the lights, people and noise, not to mention the fountains. We got out of the car to go over to see Nanny and you basically blanked her. You were interested in the fire hydrant, the road, but Nanny...well, nothing. I could see she was a little taken aback, and I tried to explain as best I could. It's strange, you were quite non-verbal too. Nanny was great and didn't push you to respond, but just said 'Hello' and was affectionate. We came back to the flat and got everyone calm, quite difficult after last year. Then we went to pick up Mummy, who for some reason thought it might be nice to work late. At 9.20pm as we were en route, Mummy announced that she couldn't get out of the building, somehow she was locked in and couldn't get out. Finally, she found a key after ringing round half the office. Sadly, by the time we managed to drive back home, get the call from Mummy to come back (we were sitting in the car park just about to get out), and then turn that final corner, you were asleep. No bath, out for the count at 10pm.

Today's Food
Breakfast: Cornflakes and Rice Milk, Banana & Date Smoothie with calcium
Snack: banana,
Late Lunch: Two portions of Rice, Spaghetti in Tomato Sauce (refused)
Snack: Chocolate Cake (half eaten), an Apple, Mango Juice
Dinner: Two slices of GF Eggy toast (wolfed down).

Not complete

Quite a b



Little Steps: You didn't run in the lake when I asked, and we were there an hour. You asked me to play with you - you told me to go and hide behind the pillar in the park and chase you, you wanted both of us to throw sticks and gave me lots of yours to throw, you went to the kiosk and played 'kif' with the guy, you shared your lolly, you initiated a game of hide and seek

Today's Food
Breakfast: One banana, Cornflakes and Rice Milk, Banana & Date Smoothie with calcium
Snack: 2 Kiwi Fruit, 2 Good For Me! Vanilla Cookies, Homemade sweetcorn fritter
Late Lunch: Rice, Sweetcorn Fritters (one eaten, one refused)Snack: Chocolate Cake, an Apple, Prigat Raspberry Cordial
Dinner: Rice Apple & Cinnamon Cake, half a Pitta with Jam, half a Pitta with Peanut Butter and Banana (refused), strawberries.

Ok, you're allowed to eat

An excellent morning. You woke at 6.50am, and were in a good mood. We made it before Dania to the OT, and she changed the room. Knowing how attached you were to א5 (your favourite room, I was wary. But you had been in 9 before and had a fabulous time. I decided to spend a lot of time watching Dania work with you, and you were very very responsive. She was again shocked at the amount of eye contact, and how good your Hebrew was. We discussed Yael's worries about us being despondent, but we said that when you see how great you can be, and then we see you practically non-verbal kicking and screaming on the floor, you can maybe understand. She said she would let Yael know that you were saying "boi hibuki" to Dania, then turning to me and saying "want a cuddle" and then switching back to Hebrew for Dania. Yael is definite not aware how good your language skills are. You asked to get up, go down, slide, everything you can imagine in Hebrew. Really some excellent stuff happening, and clearly the therapy is working. She told us to do sleeping/wake-up games but you started those off yourself in the sherut on the way to Rehovot 9 months.

Mummy got a call while we were in therapy from another Ayelet, this time from the Baker Centre in Bar Ilan. She fixed up a time on Monday's at 8.15am for us to go to therapy there. I'm very much looking forward to it Dania was very excited for us too as she said they are the experts, and she knows lots about lots of disabilities, not just autism. She said we'll learn lots from them. So we start in a week.

We discussed your hugging with Dania, and she said we must hug you every time you want one, tightly. Also not to make sudden unexpected movements, or short stroking. We should do long firm strokes down your arms, you might resist at first but persevere.

On the way back, we went to Eden, but it is getting very hard to keep you under control in a supermarket - my fear is basically that you will lunge at the bread! You used to steal Haman's Ears from Mister Zol anyway. I wanted to buy nappies but I gave up. Still, your cornflakes are on Buy 2 Get 1 Free, so as long as Roni doesn't ban corn, we'll be in there later stocking up. You eat a box a week.

You were happy to go and see the cat and give her some breakfast earlier. Someone stole her bowl, but she was affectionate and you were happy. You knew what we were doing too, you said "go see cat". And the cat came running over. I'm glad I waited and came up with a painless way for the cat to not upset your mum and not scratch you. We'll feed her every day till she goes off somewhere sunny.

We had a pretty good morning, but you were tired and flaked out at midday, so I put you to sleep. You slept for 4 hours, waking about 5 minutes before I took you to Safta's. You woke up happy enough though, and we fine despite the rushed drop off. I raced over to get Mummy, and got to Rehovot with about 10 minutes to spare.

Roni was great. She allayed our fears about the candida. We could either do a diet (which is not a good idea since you are very restricted anyway), or we could try the drug that the labs recommended called Fluconazole (which is going to need to be prescribed and it might be hard since it is usually used to treat vaginal thrush), or we could try isopathy, which we don't know a lot about, or the final option was a natural non-pharmaceutical route with a series of remedies designed by Roni and Dr Berger. I think we all thought that Fluconazole would be better. It is the quickest acting which allows us to get on with things quicker, it is the most successful in the long term too. Dr Berger said apparently he'd love to do something natural but the thing keeps coming back so you end up trying it anyway. If it works, we'll use the natural route for maintenance. So, you don't need a diet, you can eat what you ate last week, I can buy fruit, etc etc.

We were also told to try Glutathione cream, it balances out something which I can't remember. Roni swears by it. We'll get some from Morris in the homeopathic chemist on Netzach Israel in Tel Aviv. She recommended we get some CoQ10 too, a co-enzyme as mentioned on the lab report as well as some probiotics - she said Klaire's Therbiotic #1 is the best, though I don't know if we will be getting it shipped over or buy them in Israel.

So all in all, not terrifying. She went through the whole thing with us very expertly and in detail. She wasn't surprised to see you had yeast, she had mentioned it in our first meeting. She also said lots of things correct themselves as you deal with things like yeast and the other mineral deficiencies.

I wanted to go to the game tonight - Maccabi were playing at home against Ashkelon but the meeting ran late, and Safta wanted Mummy to pick you up. I wondered, and I think Mummy did too, why now you have a diagnosis that Safta gets tired and we have to come 'now' whereas when we weren't making these positive changes that she notices too she could have you for the whole day. So I drove Mummy back. I should have gone to the game. I need to make sure that I am looking after me too, you need me too. If I only think about autism I end up going mad.

It gave us a chance to make sure you could keep your bedtime routine. Apparently you had been an angel, and you had a bath and were asleep just after 10.





Little Steps: "want to get down". You used to say "down" or "go down". Dania was blown away by your Hebrew. Somewhere along the way you made an association between "kaved" (heavy) and "kaveret" (beehive) which was interesting.

Today's Food
Breakfast: One banana, Cornflakes and Rice Milk, Banana & Date Smoothie with calcium
Snack: 2 Gummy Bears
Late Lunch: Fried egg, chips (very English!)
Snack: Chocolate cake
Dinner: Banana, apple, mango juice

Bye Bye Cat

You woke at 6.15am, and weren't quite as bright as yesterday - that was clear. And you quickly jumped to your channel counting obsession and had quite a big tantrum when you didn't get channel 70. So bad that I just gave in. Mummy said I shouldn't but I think that the damage by giving in to tantrums is less bad than the damage caused by taking it on head-on when you are in this frame of mind. You are a very good kid, you don't abuse the love and care you have. I'm sure if you had a tantrum about watching the Baby Channel I might take a different line, but you wanted to see 70, France 24 News.

You said 'beten' (belly) a few times this morning, and had a bit of gas. I think it is definitely yeast and candida related. You've had enough fruit in the last 24 hours, and you are a little bit more foggy today.

You did however make a great breakthrough. I sat on the sofa while Mummy did Floortime with Lego with you. My chin hit the floor when I heard you say "want to give me". You get it. You asked for something. Along with "want to help me" and "want to help you" we have had this week, I am so happy. I mean, the sentence structure is more complex, you made it up rather than repeat it. Really great.

I've decided to add a little bit onto the blog to list the little steps you make every day. I know that every kid who is growing up does new things all the time, but it will be great to track them, and especially when they are the result of all our hard work like the "give me" game we've been playing.

Mummy had had enough of the cat some time ago. Today, it was breaking point for her. The cat, who may or may not have been called Khatouli and Tailcat, was not a nice cat. She was rarely affectionate and very rarely let you stroke her. I could do it sometimes but more often than I cared to count, she scratched or bit. You have two marks on your hands where she clawed you. I've several, and Mummy basically couldn't stand the cat from the start. It's not nice seeing her getting wound up by the cat. Plus it triggers her asthma, and she wheezes badly in the house. She is probably allergic to cat hair. The cat basically gets locked in the office, which makes a place I made for myself to relax in a no-go area. Things have been smashed, door frames scratched. The cat is an alley cat, and offering her a nice home was not the success I had hoped. We took the cat to the front of the building and then put some food down for her. She was very wary and clearly scared of being outside but after half an hour we went our separate ways. You were quite upset, I think Mummy might have been surprised about how much you liked the cat. You said "cat not" a few times. I told you over the course of the goodbye that the cat was going to play outside in the sun with her friends and that we would go and see her. I thought it was important that you were there and that we didn't just dump the cat in a moshav. No-one would of course take such an unfriendly cat either. I went down later to give her water but I couldn't find her, just an empty bowl. I will try and take food down every day though till it starts being left out. I went down again later and couldn't find her, but I found her with two other cats at 9pm almost where we left her. She wasn't too friendly with them, but they were ok, and they will be ok. I took her some food down at 9.45pm and the other alley cats had left, but she was happy to see me. I think she'll be ok.

You had a big nap between 1 and 4.20pm today which sort of throws lunch out of kilter. It did let me have some peace and quite to watch Liverpool beat United 4-1 at Old Trafford though. You cheered Dossena's last goal with me though. A proud moment.

You've spent maybe 4 days constantly demanding cuddles, almost every 10 minutes you will ask for one. They are not to climb up any more. From what I can see they are either because you just want to hug and be hugged or there is something sensory about it. I have read that there is something called a weighted blanket that applies pressure on the body to help kids who demand lots of heavy pressure to help with sensory integration. Now, obviously I would adore the thought that you were just overflowing with love, but I suspect it is the latter, particularly because you tend to bear-hug us back. I'd love to spend more time looking into it but I am just overwhelmed with what I have to just to understand your diet, Floortime, autism etc etc. It is very interesting what they say on Wikipedia. In light of the strong hug, I would have thought you like heavy touch, but this makes me think you might be hypersensitive: Parents can find it very distressing if their child rejects hugs, cuddles and other demonstrations of affection. This can be interpreted as a personal rejection when it is a discomfort with unpleasant touch. These guidelines may help in more appropriate touch with autistic children who have hypersensitivity:

• The child finds it easier to initiate hugging than receive it

• Touch is more tolerable when the child anticipates it

• Firm, unmoving touch is better than light or moving touch

• Light touch may be tolerable after firm unmoving touch

• Initial stimulation may be unpleasant but tolerated later.

I'm not sure, but I think all that applies. You're asking for the cuddles, you are rejecting cuddles unless you know they are coming. There is so much to learn. Hypersensitivity is called "sensory defensiveness" and you have lots of the characteristics they list: intolerance of high-pitched noises, intolerance of overhead lights (especially fluorescent lighting); experiencing a feeling of being attacked upon being touched (especially from light touch or sudden touch); intolerance of certain types of fabrics in contact with the skin; becoming nauseated upon smelling something that does not smell bad to normal individuals; difficulty maintaining eye-contact; severe intolerance of foods due to taste, texture, or temperature; and generally becoming overwhelmed when exposed to a lot of sensory stimuli at once. I think only the fluorescent light and smell things don't apply.

You were very happy to see me in the car when I pulled up at Safta's. You didn't expect me to pull up next to the back door, and you quickly changed direction and ran to me. Then you ran past me and headed to the drivers seat, and you said "want to beep", a game you have played a few times. Then you wouldn't say goodbye to Safta, but when we left the car park you waved 'bye Safta'. You do this in the morning with your mum, you sort of say 'bye', then we count all the numbers to the end of the street, then at the traffic lights you say "oh no, mummy gone" or something. I suspect this is a motor planning issue. It was in Engaging Autism by Greenspan, I think it is called Dyspraxia in posh terms. I'll have to look into it better. Maybe Dania can just help out by telling me what to do.

You had a great bath, though I hope we can wake you up in time for Dania tomorrow. 11.15pm is too late to be going to sleep.

Little Steps: "want to give me" rather than snatching or taking; Mummy told you "if you take your shoes off, then you can have a dummy"

Today's Food
Breakfast: One and half bananas, Cornflakes and Rice Milk, Banana & Date Smoothie with calcium (barely touched)
Late Lunch:French toast (made of two slices of GF bread, one egg and sugar and salt), orange juice
Snack: Apple
Dinner: White Rice, One potato (chipped)

A wonderful day

Some days you are in fabulous form. I heard the patter of footsteps at around 6.15am and you came and climbed on our bed. You came and cuddled and we had quite an excellent morning. The eye contact was fabulous, and you were just really good. We asked you to get something so you did. You asked for things and played wonderfully.

The counting was there, the humming (I haven't mentioned too much about humming but you hum a lot) was still there. There was a bit of flapping but you were really as bright as a button. We called "Ben", you turned round. We told you not to do things, you didn't. You asked to play with "mummy phone", and I said "it's in the bedroom, on the table near the light". You ran into the bedroom and came back empty handed. I repeated it, you looked up at the light, you went to the dining table. It was shocking how much you clearly understood, so I asked Mummy to show you where it actually was. It was hidden under the quilt, so you couldn't see it originally.

Mummy got a call from the Baker Centre in Bar Ilan University about coming to help their research unit. You come along for an hour a week - as a family - and they don't accept one parent, and they film you with the child doing Floortime, and then the next week, the parents come back without the child and discuss the week before. I think it is about 150 shekels a session, and the therapist is an English speaker (she trained in the US). Let's hope that we can fix up a time - Mummy told them Thursday was bad, and she said she would get back to us with a time for Monday. But she didn't call back, so I am a bit stressed. We could have been going on Thursday, but Mummy tried to negotiate a better time and as it stands, Shai's need to do nothing on Thursday and work from home meant we were unable to just confirm Thursday at 11am.

I had the pleasure of going into town on my own today, though I have this feeling you would have been fine. But it was nice to have some time where I could just relax. It has been very very intensive lately. Not just the Floortime, but the pressure. There is always more to do, develop, learn. Even this blog is time sometimes I think I am wasting. It helps me keep a track though, and it is a chance for me to collect my ideas, talk to someone! It keeps me motivated too. I told Avi in the bank about your candida, and he sort of thought it wasn't that serious. I never said that it caused your autism, but the way he said "but you can treat it" makes me think that people don't understand the damage that it can cause, and also would be more upset if you broke your leg.

I wanted your mum to show the report to Safta, with the yeast going off the scale. I want her to understand that she has to be the opposite of herself, but I've struggled trying to get the point across to her about how to do the Floortime, about turning the TV off and lowing the noise levels and thinking about your sensory disorder, stuff like that. Like so many people, she thinks what she does it right, and she already does everything I advise (following being advised myself). But it is not normal to encourage a child to NOT complete a puzzle, and to spend 10 minutes trying to prevent him to get him to ask for help and demand your assistance. One of the ways I describe how to help an autistic child is by saying that with someone without ASD you are amazed and delighted if they can do a jigsaw alone without help. With an autistic child, you want them to not be able to complete the jigsaw and you jump for joy when they give up trying on their own and ask you to help.

Mummy said that she was terrified someone would underplay the yeast point, send it to someone like "Dr" Yair Melamed who is nothing like an expert and he'd dismiss what we have found out. She's decided to not tell Safta we are seeing a DAN! nutritionist, DAN! is seen as quackery and doctors are apparently better than nutritionists. Even with nutrition. So we are going to see a 'doctor' Sunday. I think by the time you read this then people might have a better idea of what is going on.

You were great in the lift when we went to Safta's, and she agreed that you were a pleasure to be with. I can't really put my finger on why. No need to press every button, and when you couldn't go to all the floors at Safta's you were fine. You've also not rubbed the back of your head on the right side since the diet and intervention started. Very interesting.

I spent a lot of time researching Candida, and looking into diets. It looks horrific, I have to say. This article scared me, if you are on an anti-candida diet it means that you will not be able to eat anything virtually. I hope there is another way of treating it. Maybe just with drugs/herbs (there was something on the report about what would be most successful), Roni will advise us best I'm sure. One thing I got really confused about when I was reading the report and making notes for questions to ask Roni, it says on your report "Candida, not albicans". Now everything I read is about candida albicans. What is the difference? Do you have untypical yeast problems?

There was also something about high oxalates, and I guess that means you will need to be on a diet for that. The problem is that with being a veggie on a GFCFSF diet, no aspartame, anti-candida diet and low oxalate diet, I believe you are left cauliflower and cabbage. I hope Roni comes up with a plan. Presumably, GFCF stays, and we deal with the yeast first. We'll see.

I found some very interesting articles while rummaging around, one on supplements - how complicated it is, how they aren't all the same, how 1000mg of calcium citrate is only 200mg of calcium, and only 10% is absorbed if you are lucky. It discussed how toxins cause autism. Well worth a read. It also says that you cannot get everything you need from food now, you have to take supplements.

When I came and picked you up around 7pm, you just ran to me. I had to stop the car in the middle of the road and open the door. "Cross the road" was what you said as you stepped off the kerb. Then you jumped on my lap and said "want to beep". I helped you press the horn, three times, on Shabbat! Oivavoy! But we all had a great time before you went to bed at 7.45pm.

Today's Food

Breakfast: Banana & Date Smoothie with Calcium, two bowls of Cornflakes with Rice Milk

Snack: a dozen gummy bears

Lunch: White Rice, one potato (chipped)

Snacks: Apple, Strawberry & Banana Nectar, Chocolate Cake, half a chocolate ball